I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize