if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
