You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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