Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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