That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i was born a porn star she said
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
