well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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