hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
