2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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