Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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