I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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