At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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