I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
