My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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