I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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