eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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