i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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