i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
