I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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