Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
