Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize