just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
