I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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