if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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