I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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