the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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