you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize