We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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