I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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