we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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