I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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