i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
