Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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