I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
