Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
