My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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