yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
