Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
