i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
