he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
