For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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