I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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