So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
