We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
