I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
