I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
