just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
