Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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