you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
