Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
