just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
