took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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