I'm so fucking centered right now
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
