if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
