Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
