using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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