Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
