no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
