You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
