I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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