i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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