Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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