"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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