She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
